Musings on my friendship

I find to me that friendships are important. I know as I get older, many friends come and go (move away from Beantown or pass through different phases in their lives) so it does not mean I think of them less. It is more we are all caught up in our own little part of the world. It is ok. But I try to do my part to keep that "link" with my friends. There are many people who have touched my life to make me who I am today.

I love my friends a lot and in an ideal world I could see them more often. But the reality is that I am not able to do so. I have many friends with families, busy with graduate school, work, and their activities. So when I am able to hear from a friend, it is always a pleasure. Thanks to technology, it is easier to keep in touch thanks to email, cell phones, photos websites to share photos-flickr, kodak photo gallery, shutterfly etc. If I am lucky, I am in my friend's neck of the woods and we are able to meet up. I am always excited and happy to my friends!

I have to say all my relationships both good and bad, I have learned about myself and with that knowledge learned more patience, maturity, and love for myself. Plus learning about what is important to me and qualities of people I tend to want to be around, respect and learn from. One friend, my big sis from Brazil, he has taught me through her warmth and affection. Another person who is no longer a close friend who was always late, did not respect my time, broke promises and never apologized made me realize the limits of my patience and tolerance. But because of this situation, I learnt that did not need this person in my life.

I have written in the past an entry on my thankfulness of various friends in my life. From those who took the time to show me their hometown, current town, hosting me, to spending time with me have always been appreciated. This path of life has been wonderful due to the enrichment of the generosity of friends and even strangers while I have meandered many a different road in different cities, countries, and towns.

Little things make me happy I have found. I feel the happiness and satisfaction of bringing a smile to someone's face, volunteering, and doing something for someone I care about. I remember along time ago, I worried that because I did not have a lot of money one time while in college, I could not get a "nice" present to match up an expensive "scarf" that was bought as a birthday present. One wise friend EvS told me not to get caught up on the monetary value of the present. She told me that I gave much more in my friendships and being there for my friends. I gave time, my attention and actually listened to my friends. EvS said those qualities alone were great and admirable. (To this day, I am very grateful to those words. In fact a few years ago I told this friend, she did not realize how powerful those words of encouragement have been on my mind all these years.)

Whoever said, it is hard to be honest to those you are closest to is so true. Or to find out that someone you trusted had back stabbed you. But as I have gotten older, I find that people who have to cut others down or "badmouth" others are people who derive pleasure and satisfaction to by saying mean things about others. It says that they have to feel better about themselves to "cut down" others. Also, those who really know you or willing to be fair and open minded will realize that you are not what others gossip say about you or your character. If someone is going to quickly judge me and believe everything they hear, then probably that person will not get along with me.

I find that there are a few personality traits/interests I have found myself drawn to others such as the love of volunteering, love of the arts, love of food/cuisine, love of travel or willingness to embrace differences and new experiences. One good friend who is not a wedding photographer and used to work in a lab told me he liked that not all my friends were Chinese. I have been lucky to have a broad circle of friends from a range of ages, ethnicities, and geographical locations. Whenever I travel, I am always to catch up with friends or get advice from friends about places I visit or travel to beforehand.

Whenever I think of my friends, I have a big silly smile on my face. I would not be the person I am without them. My friends have stood by me through thick and thin--thank you. Just being there and being you has enabled me to dig deeper with myself. Also I derive a lot of fun and excitement and personal satisfaction to do things for my friends. It probably explains a lot of why I love to cook and share food or take photographs. I have gone to a few weddings to see photos I have taken used in the photo montages. Many a friend have had the good humor and patience with my love of snapping away photos! Now that I have gone digital for only a year, I have been snapping even more photos than before.

A big thank you to all my friends!